Life so trivial

Leaving town tonight
Heart doesn't want to
On high spirits
Easing my pain
Dusty windshield
Watch the road ahead

Road signs glaring bright
Rock song on my stereo
Banging head, keep eye open
Tail lights at a distance
Speeds away around the bend

Bright lights keep company
As my senses give me away
Leaving behind a wasted life
Chasing my dreams
Happy days under the sun

Speed away from life
Escape the inevitable
What irony life spells
Try to make sense
Numbed thoughts blue veins

Little girl, cold feet
Dead leaf bring life
So much to light a fire
Cook food, comfort the fingers
Cruel nature gave few twigs
Cross road, hope in her wings

Saw her, a fleeting glimpse
Soft touch no escape
Lying dead on the highway
Cold night cold senses
Warm blood trickles and freezes
Headlights burning, only hope
As life turns white and fades away

Stand trembling, blood rushes
Is it the cold or is it fear
Causing death chasing life
Looking in from the outside
I did sin I did crime

Pick her lifeless body
Blood on my hands bring back senses
As conscience rush orders
Hands drained of feelings
Still feel the warmth
Of human touch

Feel her soul
Another life, another dream
Hold onto her, hold tight
Like my little sister
Big hug, bidding her farewell
Travel to the unknown
Life so trivial

Can't think anymore
I stand there still
As world comes clear
Dreams sound unreal
Coming full circle now
Life so trivial

The Old Banyan Tree

The words that I speak
Keep drifting in my head
Can't seem to get over them
No one is listening
As the walls reflect them back to me

Blowing bubbles in the sun
Bursting little drops on my face
I wipe them off with my dirty hands
Muck on my face
Smell of wet earth fill my lungs

Ants march, follow the smell
Men walk on the same old lanes
They follow the money around
Keep walking, someone says
Aimless thoughts clutter my head
As I lie on dead grass

Morning breeze on my face
Sit up, wonder what life has to offer
Children playing, mothers smiling
Was my mom thinking the same
When I was out there playing
Do things change
We march on in life

I sit alone
Tearing grass to while my time
Time doesn't fly
My world stands there gasping
At the emptiness inside

Would I run or sit under a tree dreaming
Others leave me behind
Run to the hills
As the sun plays hide and seek
Dead thoughts finds way to my diary
I'd keep them with me, my times of grief

Still looking for an answer ...

5:30 a.m. : Everyone is fast asleep.

Gaurav, Namita and their 5 year old kid Vishal sleep together on their grand 7 feet by 7 feet super sized bed, laid out neatly in one side of their happy little studio apartment in Bandra. The heavy and thick curtains with rich fabric keeps their room warm and dark all night.

A perfect room for Vishal who watches all his cartoon characters and stars glowing on the walls and the ceiling ... till his wide eyes close by themselves. But, both of his eyes don't close shut together...

Generally Vishal studies by leaning and resting on his left elbow. Repeated efforts by his mom to rectify his habit hasn't worked. Probably Vishal's left brain is heavier compared to his right one! He is definitely brighter than kids of his age. He talks less, observes more. Anyway, this habit of his leaves his left eye more strained. So its the left eye which closes first when he falls asleep... then the right. The slowly he slips into REM (rapid eye movement) sleep, left first ... right next.

He is just five, but his brain is of a 13 year old. This has happened because he eats lots of Brahmi saag, Branolia, fish, Chawanprash and Complan everyday. Anyway, so all his dreams are skewed. He regularly sees Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, Shakira and Alezee in his dreams. He used to see Aishwarya also, but never since she got married to that bearded hip-shaking pervert.

Now remember, his left eye almost always close first and then the right? It seems like he is winking at them!

"Wow! A five-year old kid winking at me! He must be really cool!"

So all the damsels wanna be friends with him... Shakira, Lohan, Britney, Courtney, Niomi, ... they all come one by one and Vishal can see a full fledged MTV show right at the dead of night. And his parents can't use any child protection lock on these channels that Vishal subscribes to every night! What fun!

5:31 a.m. : Peep-peep Peep-peep Peep-peep ...

Gaurav never sets his alarm on even numbered minutes. He'd set it at 31 minutes past 5, but not 30 minutes. Some superstition maybe ... even he doesn't know why he does it.

He sits up on his bed. Vishal is still sleeping using his mom as a side pillow.

"Lucky brat! He is having such a nice time with my wife... and I am left alone in the cold! :-X"

He stops his alarm, gets down from bed and splashes some water on his face.

His face looks really tired. He is having a rough time at office. His firm's sales haven't reached the target that was set during the start of the financial year, and everyone is facing the brunt of the management now.

"Those buggers don't know how to handle business! Money, money, money! Is that all? Are they thinking about whether or not they are adding value to the society at large?"

No! Thats what bugs Gaurav. Anyway, thats something Gaurav can't do much about now. He is earning a hefty amount, and he is supposed to get the work done and keep shut. He has been doing that for over a year now, and he'd probably have to do that for the rest of his life...

He has had a happy marriage. A very energetic and intelligent wife, a bright kid. His mom and dad have passed away and he never had a place he could call home for a long time. Now he has got a perfect place to go back after office and relax ... he calls it his home now. His wife multi-roles as a wife, a friend, a mom, a sister and ... And he plays a similar role for his wife. Happy life!

But there are things that bug him still. No not bed bugs! I mean bugs in the whole fabricated software called 'life'.

Why is he alive? I mean is he serving some great purpose by being alive? All he does is, creates monetary value for some one else. His efforts make sure that both he and his enterprise gets enough money to sustain itself, and also make merry while the sun shines. But why? Is he any different as to where he stands in life compared to a poor guy on the street?

What difference is there between a rich and a poor guy? The rich guys sits on leather upholstery and dresses in fine linen, eats good food, and moves around in nice looking cars. The poor guys sits on the hard cemented pavement, gets drenched and baked in the scorching sun, dresses in tatters, eats shit, and doesn't quite need to move around because he has nowhere to go ...

End of day; the rich guy goes to sleep on a soft bed, has a beautiful lady by his side to pamper him. The poor guy goes to sleep under the street light, along with the street dogs barking all around him for food. The poor guy would also probably be hungry, but he won't bark, because he knows very well by now how cruel and selfish the world is. He goes to sleep silently. Maybe some day he'd just die there lying, another silent death. Would the world turn back and look at him? No.

Okay Gaurav is again thinking too much. He has a reason to be alive now, because he has a family to take care of. His wife and kid whom he loves so much. All his dreams and hard work is to build a perfect world around them. Thats what he is doing.

Gaurav thinks along these line, and he thinks a lot. It hasn't made any difference to his life so far, or anyone else's. Is it going to be like this forever or would there be some change? Would some UFO suddenly shoot out of the clouds and clear Gaurav's thoughts? Nah ... that won't happen. Gaurav has to find a way out.

Read on! ...